She was afraid to turn on her power. She could not keep the gaze.
On a recent walk I saw a bird. It seemed he was asking me to follow him as he leapt from spot to spot. Where might he lead, I wondered. To my left I saw something, and looked away from the bird. Worried I would lose sight of the bird, I was relieved when I didn’t. But the bird flew behind me instead.
I have often been one to take every little experience, even one from a bird as my way-shower; showing me the way to what I have not seen before. This way of living came natural for years and years, then the thoughts in my head got louder, drowning out these small, yet profound learning opportunities. I am happy the bird showed me I am still able to pay attention and use everything to teach me. What I learned from this bird is a lesson in distraction and focus. When we become distracted, we lose our focus, and take several steps back.
I went walking again yesterday. I had been feeling well, then suddenly I was not. I dialogued. Q.
What’s wrong, my darling?
(as the saying goes, we catch more bees with honey, darling)A. Stuck solid. Inactive.Q.
What’s inactive?A. A pursuit. Q.
What’s the pursuit?A. Love.
Such poetry, The Voice Inside. I love her ways. And I am so happy to know the “off” feeling I get so often means I am STUCK SOLID. I am inactive in my awakening process. I have in a sense, gone to sleep. When I am asleep, I am not aware, and I am not actively participating in my pursuit of love, of Self. In my stuck moments, I am afraid to turn on the active, ever-flowing power of love and what it means to be awake.
Life is a series of awakenings. ~Sivananda
The brightest and deepest I remember my gaze, where I never lost focus and pursued with my heart, is when I was 19, and found out I was pregnant. Other than the fear of some medical issues I was facing at the time, I knew I was having the baby. I was committed and dedicated to the life inside of me, whether or not her father or my parents or society was. In fact, a counselor had told me, being a young, single mom is the fastest way to poverty. Who does this woman think she is? Does she think she knows everything? Well, she doesn’t know me. There is beauty in being young and so called, naive.
19, the last time my eyes were 100% clear and could keep my gaze upon the bird. This surfacing remembrance, along with the appearance of the bird on my path, lets me know I need this clear gaze again. I quit my job. It was my only source of income. But I could not do it. That time for me has passed. I declared to do what I want to do; to create the life I want. To follow my heart in the name of Love. The Voice Inside says, Dedication, my dear. The rest, is settled.
Today’s Soul Tip:
When we dedicate ourselves to a purpose, our needs are taken care of, even the financial ones we most tend to worry about. In fact, it is the financial ones, which are the easiest to upload into our life. It is the dedication which sits at the center and attracts all needs, desires, possibilities. Our work is the dedication; the desire to commit; the rest will fall into place.