>Here to Serve

>What is our purpose? I have come to know it is to realize who we are and from that place of knowing, to serve those who still struggle.

What about you? Have you come to know this as well? Have you awoken to this understanding, this basic and simple knowing, that we are here to ‘know thyself’ and to serve?

It wasn’t until I finished what I know to be grueling, personal and spiritual work that I realized this simple knowing for myself. For the past 13 years I have delved into the dark and the light corners of my soul to try and figure out who I am and why I am here. The deeper I went the more I saw who I am not, but was pretending to be and who I would become if I did not change. The same for what I am here to do, the deeper I went the more I saw what I am not here to do, but was doing and would continue to do if I did not change. This awareness is what began my transformation and brings me to where I am today where I sense the 13 years of grueiling personal inner work is behind me and now there is but one thing left for me to do and that is to serve. No more was this period of growth just about me, but it was about being a force in the world for the change I had personlly underwent.

There is a freedom even an excitement I feel that I have done the work and that I can now serve without another agenda, such as being liked, being admired, or to do so in order to distract and disuade myself from my own problems. Now there is nothing standing in my way to being totally present with another, all that is needed is opportunity.

When we get to this place of service, which is inherent in us all, we have to be willing to want the opportunity to show up, to open ourselves up to it and when we do, we will receive it.

The other day, on my 6th wedding anniversary, my husband and I were downtown Minneapolis ready to go see a movie. As I was buying the tickets and saw the money in my wallet, my heart seemed to sing out of my chest, give, give, give and all I wanted to do was give some money to someone. As we walked away about to go into an elevator, two young men asked us for some money for the bus. In my heart of generosity that was now blossoming, I immediately dug into my purse, which my husband did not like since he is from the ‘hood’ and instead gave them his pocket change before I could get my money out. He informed me in the elevator that if I want to give money I should keep some in my pocket so that I did not have to dig in my purse exposing the money I did have just in case they had other motives. I liked this idea which seemed like a healtly balance of being open and ready to give, yet thoughtful and aware enough to know although my intentions are good, someone else’s might not be.

We moved on, closer to the movie theatre and as we did a woman approached as if she had been waiting for me and asked for 50 cents. Since I did not think I would have yet another opportunity to give I hadn’t put extra money in my pocket, but I wanted to anyway so I opened up my purse. As I did she assured me that she would use the money for what it is she needed it for and not something else. I looked up at her, and heard the words from Mother Teresa ring in my head from her poem the Final Analysis, ‘it is not between you and them, it is between you and God’ and I told the woman that it was okay and that it did not matter and pulled out $2 and gave it to her. She wished me God’s blessing and walked away and I did the same.

For a while after the experience I seemed speechless. It was hard to believe that I had been approached not once but twice. I started to tell my husband about how floored I was and that just moments before I had wanted to give in this way. He said, ‘well of course, you are a magnet.’ He was right, I was and although I had heard this before, this time I knew it to be true. My heart sang with the song of its giving and in its singing became a magnet to attract those in need. And so it is, and so may it be for all of us.

Namaste,

Nikki

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